


Alchemy Bros

by Meatball42



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alchemy, Alternate Universe - Magic, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Ghosts, Mad Science, Science Bros, Shapeshifting, Sorceresses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 19:02:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5217179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meatball42/pseuds/Meatball42
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A day in the life of an artificer and his mad scientist best friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alchemy Bros

Tony stared at Bruce.

Bruce stared at Tony.

Jarvis tilted his head, translucent arms crossed over his see-through chest, and smiled.

“With these here offerings, we invoke the blessings of life, to create herself,” Tony incanted solemnly. He pulled the cuff of his robe over his elbow and lifted a beaker of shimmering yellow… something over the boiling cauldron.

Across the cauldron, Bruce raised his handful of chimera scales.

“One.”

The cauldron spat malevolently.

“Two.”

Jarvis considered putting a stop to it all, but sighed and drifted away. Any flyaway byproduct would pass right through him, but it was frightfully messy.

“ _Th_ \--”

“I thought you two were banned from making new AIs.”

“-- _raaahh!!_ ” Tony screamed. “Natasha! I told you not to do that in my dungeon!”

The sorceress smirked as Tony called his familiars to him, assuring the panicking bots that they were not under attack. “Or maybe we are, I don’t know,” he said with a glare.

Natasha smiled serenely. “The Captain has issued a summons to assemble. Shall I tell him to expect you by broomstick?”

“Oh _ha-ha_ , I get it, I’m a little witch-boy, very funny. Now get out before I curse your hair iron to invisible!” Natasha looked unimpressed. “See how many marks you can enchant then, huh!”

The sorceress turned to Bruce. “Doctor? Would you like me to convey you to the castle?”

Bruce shook his head at the floor, eyes still glimmering green from the earlier scare. “I think I’ll just fly in with Tony. Teleporting gives the Other Guy vertigo.”

“Shouldn’t you be fetching your pet Cupid, anyway?”

Natasha rolled her eyes. “He’s a shapeshifter, not an angel, or a demigod, or a human archer. And he’s going to shoot you if you keep getting it wrong.”

Tony waved his hands imperiously as he canceled out the spell on the cauldron. “I’ll have more respect for his designation when he stops getting feathers all over my flying carpets.”

Bruce hung his lab coat on the hatstand when it wobbled over. “Is Clint doing better?”

“Loki’s spell has completely worn off,” Natasha answered. “He’s flying in as soon as Thor’s storm dies down.”

“We’ll probably show up at the same time. Tony might like playing with Thor’s lightning, but I’d prefer to avoid it.”

“Then I’ll see you soon. Don’t forget your holographic pants charm-- unless you changed your mind about the Equinox Dance.” She gave Bruce’s mad scientist lab garb a quick once-over, licked her lips, and vanished over the sound of Bruce’s flustered stutter.

Tony immediately began teasing.

Bruce sighed and tried to ignore his lab partner. “She’s going to be the death of me.”

“But what a way to go!” Tony was still chuckling as he conjured the Iron Man suit and Jarvis helped maneuver the fifth-dimensional spellwork onto his body. “You know, I think I have a few spare protection charms rattling around. You should probably start carrying them in your wallet.”

As the pair bickered and Jarvis smiled quietly and the bots played, no one noticed the metal construct at the bottom of the cooling cauldron slowly turn its head.

**Author's Note:**

> For those interested:  
> Tony is an artificer, which means he channels magic into or through objects (from D&D :)  
> Bruce is a mad scientist who sort of Jekyll-and-Hyde’d himself  
> Jarvis is a ghost  
> Natasha is a dark sorceress turned… sort of lighter  
> Clint is a were-hawk who makes arrows out of his own feathers, which imbues them with special properties  
> Thor is actually a god  
> Steve is a normal human who got loads of experimental magic tested on him
> 
> The class of artificer rendered unto me by the impressive mind of tumblr’s [snowflake-succubus](http://snowflake-succubus.tumblr.com).


End file.
